so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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