My liver just broke up with me...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
