her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
