She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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