Jerry, you need to find god
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
