what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
