I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
