you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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