i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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