Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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