Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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