Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
This is my gift to your gina
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Randomize
