SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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