Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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