Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
