My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
