ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
