dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
