I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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