I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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