Me too!
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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