Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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