i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
