I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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