Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
