ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
