Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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