We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
