I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
