there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize