Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
