some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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