very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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