i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
did you just send me my own nude
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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