Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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