If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
