its not stalking. its research.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Randomize
