I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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