I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize