And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
