bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
