she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
