I heard we made out
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
