Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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