he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
