its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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