Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
