I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
