Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize