haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize