so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
