if i died would you start the facebook group?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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