Where is the hickey?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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