Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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