my vag is so smooth its legendary
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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