Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
no, he came in my armpit
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
