Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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