I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
