If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
