what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Randomize