He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
