This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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